I’m drained. My heart is broken. I’m frustrated. All I can think about is getting out of this room…
These tend to be the first few moments after 8:30pm on Monday nights - and they can be rough. They come after the Domestic Violence Support Group I lead, with my friend Julie, at Alternatives For Battered Women.
Have you ever bought a box of chocolates (especially the day after Valentine’s Day when they are ½ off!) and out of the 20 pieces in the pretty heart-shaped box, maybe one or two make you feel like you’ve had a taste of heaven & the money you spent was worth it?
Most Monday nights, after the support group, I walk away feeling like I took a bite out of that gross tasting hard caramel. Leaves me bitter. Then I ask myself, “Why did I buy this??!” But then, I taste the lemon cream one and I remember why I bought it!
Let’s take this to reality now.
Do you ever wonder if you are doing any good on this earth?
Do you ever sit back and wonder what happened to people living in love and not anger? On the rare Monday night that I leave feeling as though I was just GIVEN a box of 20 lemon creams, I am reminded in an “oh-so-sweet” way that I DO make a difference.
When I hear and see the joy emanating from these women, because they got a job or their abuser is behind bars or they got custody of their children or something as small as being able to spend $5 on just themselves, it fills me with such a warmth I can’t even begin to describe it to you. It’s beyond the lemon cream feeling.
Those women – who have endured a pain so great it would take your breath away – are strong. They find something along the path that you and I forget everyday. HOPE.
In this support group, things like, encouraging self-nurturance, problem-solving skills, increasing knowledge about the cycle of abuse, providing safety, facilitating the grief process and building self-esteem are talked about.
Listening is the greatest gift you can give anyone who has a troubled heart. Some women will remain in the cycle of abuse. It’s comfortable to them, believe it or not – but some women choose to find the lemon creams in life. I would love to think my encouragement & support has nudged them in that direction. Along with all of you who support in some way those that need nudging to follow a path of love, trust & safety.
Back in 2000, when I lived in Watertown, NY I volunteered at the Victim’s Assistance Center as a Rape Crisis Advocate. I was able to volunteer at the shelter and offer love and support to not only rape victims, but victims of domestic violence. When I moved back to Rochester in 2002, I felt I had so much love to give, that I looked up ABW’s number and found myself leading a support group!
In my life, I have found that any changes we make in our lives are up to US. If we want to make positive changes in our life, we have to look deep inside ourselves and figure out how to get there. If we have the support of family and friends who truly love us, then, all the better. Some people have NO idea that they have the strength inside of them to move forward on a path that is healthy and positive. I try to remind the ladies that they do have this gift of finding strength.
At United Way, we fund the ABW Safe Families program – which, essentially, provides a safe emergency setting and services to help prevent further abuse to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. I am proud to give because I KNOW and SEE what a difference my gift makes.
So, maybe I’m just writing this article to ME today. So, that I can remember all is not in vain. I make a difference just by being me. Maybe, I can share my lemon creams of hope & love with those that cry for it.
These tend to be the first few moments after 8:30pm on Monday nights - and they can be rough. They come after the Domestic Violence Support Group I lead, with my friend Julie, at Alternatives For Battered Women.
Have you ever bought a box of chocolates (especially the day after Valentine’s Day when they are ½ off!) and out of the 20 pieces in the pretty heart-shaped box, maybe one or two make you feel like you’ve had a taste of heaven & the money you spent was worth it?
Most Monday nights, after the support group, I walk away feeling like I took a bite out of that gross tasting hard caramel. Leaves me bitter. Then I ask myself, “Why did I buy this??!” But then, I taste the lemon cream one and I remember why I bought it!
Let’s take this to reality now.
Do you ever wonder if you are doing any good on this earth?
Do you ever sit back and wonder what happened to people living in love and not anger? On the rare Monday night that I leave feeling as though I was just GIVEN a box of 20 lemon creams, I am reminded in an “oh-so-sweet” way that I DO make a difference.
When I hear and see the joy emanating from these women, because they got a job or their abuser is behind bars or they got custody of their children or something as small as being able to spend $5 on just themselves, it fills me with such a warmth I can’t even begin to describe it to you. It’s beyond the lemon cream feeling.
Those women – who have endured a pain so great it would take your breath away – are strong. They find something along the path that you and I forget everyday. HOPE.
In this support group, things like, encouraging self-nurturance, problem-solving skills, increasing knowledge about the cycle of abuse, providing safety, facilitating the grief process and building self-esteem are talked about.
Listening is the greatest gift you can give anyone who has a troubled heart. Some women will remain in the cycle of abuse. It’s comfortable to them, believe it or not – but some women choose to find the lemon creams in life. I would love to think my encouragement & support has nudged them in that direction. Along with all of you who support in some way those that need nudging to follow a path of love, trust & safety.
Back in 2000, when I lived in Watertown, NY I volunteered at the Victim’s Assistance Center as a Rape Crisis Advocate. I was able to volunteer at the shelter and offer love and support to not only rape victims, but victims of domestic violence. When I moved back to Rochester in 2002, I felt I had so much love to give, that I looked up ABW’s number and found myself leading a support group!
In my life, I have found that any changes we make in our lives are up to US. If we want to make positive changes in our life, we have to look deep inside ourselves and figure out how to get there. If we have the support of family and friends who truly love us, then, all the better. Some people have NO idea that they have the strength inside of them to move forward on a path that is healthy and positive. I try to remind the ladies that they do have this gift of finding strength.
At United Way, we fund the ABW Safe Families program – which, essentially, provides a safe emergency setting and services to help prevent further abuse to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. I am proud to give because I KNOW and SEE what a difference my gift makes.
So, maybe I’m just writing this article to ME today. So, that I can remember all is not in vain. I make a difference just by being me. Maybe, I can share my lemon creams of hope & love with those that cry for it.
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