She has a choice

In the Center for Youth, staff are often exposed to the many forms violence can take in a young person’s life. Whether violence comes in the forms of bruises, cuts, burns or even emotional scarring; we aim to help those young people who may be helpless and even hopeless reach some level of stability, reassurance and support. It is not easy from any perspective to handle trauma, abandonment, abuse or neglect on a daily basis. However, as prevention providers we understand that this difficult task is necessary in order to help those young people who are disenfranchised, disengaged and disregarded by so many.

Not too long ago a young girl came in need of emergency housing due to many of the most common issues we see in our adolescents today. Abuse, neglect, family dysfunction and rage surrounded this young girl day in and day out. She told me stories about her childhood that would bring tears to anyone’s eyes; yet she sat there as though she didn’t realize the significance of these events. In the midst of her stories, she told me that she was recently jumped by a group of girls near downtown as she was walking home. At this point I asked her: Why did they hurt you? Did you know them? What did you do? With a grin on her face she said she had no choice but to fight back. “I wasn’t gonna let those girls beat me down without a fight. Can’t go home looking like no punk” she answered.

Her answers exemplify how violence encompasses and consumes many aspects of our young adolescents. Aspects such as self-image, peer relations and decision-making were all involved in her decision to fight back. Much like this young girl, many adolescents may perceive they do not have choice in the prevention of violence. In addition, the manner in which adolescents think their peers may perceive them if they choose to walk away also acts as a heavy influence in whether young people choose to prevent or engage in violent acts. Our role as prevention providers must be holistic in our approach to violence prevention. For this young girl, no single intervention will prevent her from fighting repeatedly. However, consistent support found in counselors, case managers, healthcare providers, family or friends may assist this young girl in realizing she does have a choice. She has a choice in preventing violence. She has a choice in walking away without feeling like a punk. She has a choice…